The FINAL Episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show
"Oprah, watching you be yourself makes me want to be more of myself."
I couldn't have said it better myself.
My love for Oprah is well-documented and I felt all that love flowing back my way as Oprah took to the stage and said her final farewell. She shared the highlights of her journey and the lessons she hopes we all took away from 25 years of programming. I knew some of them so well I could have completed her sentences.
Was it perfect? Short of my own personal lunch with Oprah to process my emotions on the final season, I'm not sure anything would have been perfect. However, I got the closure I needed and felt her sincerity in reaching out to thank the viewers who have loved and supported her all these years. I've been in Oprah's audience. Everything she said about needing us there and feeding off our energy is true.
I even got one final "Aha! Moment." She shared a lesson learned from her recent reunion with Iyanla Vanzant. "There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness." Aha!
In the spirit of Oprah's final lesson and all the wisdom I've learned through the years in "the world's biggest classroom," I thought I would share my most important lessons—the Oprah-isms I repeat and repeat and repeat, the aha moments that changed me, the truths who shaped the person I am.
Don't let yourself be taken to the second location! Retired police sergeant Sanford Strong shared this tip in 1991. "Rule number one—and frankly, it's probably, in my opinion, the most important: Never allow them to take you anywhere else. Never," says Sanford. "Because crime scene number two is going to be isolated, you won't choose it, you'll be the focus of the crime."
I know I was probably too young to have seen the original episode but this has been scalded into my memory after tons of follow-ups where Oprah viewers credit this tip with saving their lives.
The Imago Theory. A relationship theory developed by marriage therapist Harville Hendrix, Imago Theory is basically the idea that you draw people into your life to either heal or re-enact old wounds. It's why we marry men just like our fathers or act like our mothers (basically, the premise of every episode of 16 & Pregnant). Understanding this central idea has really affected how I view my marriage and so many other relationships in my life. It helped me understand that what I usually think is all about the other person is most likely all about me.
When people show you who they are, believe them. Although coming via Maya Angelou, this was not an easy lesson for me to learn. Maybe I wanted to believe the best in people. Maybe I was too busy worrying that there was something wrong with me. Either way, I finally learned that I have no space in my life for toxic people. So, I say goodbye when they show their true colors...the first time.
All pain is the same. Oprah was interviewing women in prison for killing their own children—the worst crime imaginable. After the interview, one of the woman came to Oprah and said, "I can't believe you don't hate us." Her response, "No, I don't hate you. I see that's what you did with your pain and I do something else with mine." It was a profound lesson in empathy, sympathy, and compassion that was reinforced throughout the show. A lesson that has stayed with me and colored the way I see everything.
You teach people how to treat you. So simple. So important—especially for us moms. If you give and give with no concern for yourself, then don't be surprised if those around you take and take with no concern for you either. Putting everyone else first and waiting for someone to do the same for you is a fruitless endeavor. If you want people to respect you, then you must respect yourself. Simple? Yes. Easy? No...well, unless you have Oprah to guide you.
I know Oprah will still be there to guide me. I still have O Magazine and the all-important OWN. I appreciate the heartfelt goodbye and gratitude she expressed yesterday.
That didn't make it any less sad today when my 4 o'clock came and went with no Oprah.
- Sarah Stewart Holland
210 Comments
Reader Comments (210)
Yesterday was a bummer. I'm going to have to take up knitting, snorkeling, maybe cooking (?) to fill her hour :(
"When people show you who they are, believe them." This one is hard for me, I too want to see and believe the best in people. I've really tried to live my life this way though.
Beautiful, reflective post! :)
luv, luv, luv Oprah.
I really enjoyed her farewell show. Thanks for sharing some of your highlights.
thank God it's over
This was a great post. Thank you for writing it.
this is a comment
I've always lived by the, "You teach people how to treat you" lesson as well. It's one of the things I'll always remember from the Oprah show. That and Peter Walsh's "Honor the things the memories and things that are important to you. Don't stuff them in drawers." Anyway, great piece!
It's not as if she is gone altogether. Isn't there cable that she owns? Won't she do shows on that of some kind?
I think Oprah inspired many many people and if we had more Oprahs the world would indeed a better place - you can't say that about everyone.
Blessings,
Ava
xox
^^
This post gave me chills just as the last episode of Oprah gave me chills. I've grown up watching her as my mom always watched her. I don't recall that there was ever a moment where I didn't know who Oprah was.
For the entirety of that last episode, my eyes were watering and when it was over I full out cried. It's crazy.
One moment among her various speeches that could be considered an aha! moment was when she said we are responsible for our own lives. She said "it doesn't matter what your mama did. It doesn't matter what your dad did. You are responsible for your own life" (or something to that effect) along with other things leading up to that moment. This is something I sort of believed before, but the way she worded it, and my thinking I'm going to end up like one parent or the other, just made me feel like I had an epiphany, you know?
I also loved when she mentioned The Color Purple and when the lady says that "everything done to me was done to you" (to that effect). All the efforts that go into hurting others, hurts you too.
That whole episode was full of words to live by. Oprah is a life saver in so many ways. And I believe that. Thanks for this post.
Those are great life lessons to live by. So simple, yet so true. Thanks for sharing!
I love her as well. Do you remember the ERIN KRAMP episode? That made me weep for weeks!
I love the way she is and what she represents...especially her friendship with Gayle as well..
you suck why did you stop any way?
Yes - the Queen of daytime television will be sorely missed by many. I loved how she used her power to spread positive messages. I wonder how many people she inadvertently helped - perhaps millions? The greatest ripple effect of our age, I think.
My "Aha Moment" from Oprah's last show was that I finally understood the meaning of the word "Grace." Oprah was talking about God - Source - Spirit - LIFE.... and then she said "Some people call it Grace." This, plus the segment with Iyanla Vanzant put it together for me. When I am receptive to Source Energy, then I am receiving, or "in the state of" Grace.
I love Oprah! So sad to see her go! Click on my username to see my blog about something thats slowly killing you.
Oh wow, it feel weird that this day as finally come. I live in Germany so I miss out big time, but thank you for sharing.
im going to miss you O You Are Remarkable Luv
I love me some Oprah, she has done well. 25 years in the business is awesome.
my class mate was so sad that it was the final show!!!
I enjoyed your post. However, one thing bothered me. To quote you.
"I know Oprah will still be there to GUIDE me." (emphasis mine)
There is no doubt that Oprah is a compassionate, generous and smart individual. But the idea of another imperfect human "guiding" you instead of God (and the wisdom coming from His Words) is kind of problematic to me.
Oprah-isms.....Oprahnian, Oprahdism...sounds like a new movement to me - almost like a cult, a famous person with hordes of followers. Sounds like idolatry to me.
Great post! I never been more sad to see a show go off the air. I honestly don't know how I will fill the void that Oprah left. She provided so many great life lessons and "aha!" moments for me. I was so fortunate to attend a taping of her show last year and it was a surreal experience. I'm really going to miss her and her show. I don't even want to delete any of the shows I have on my DVR :)