The 30-Year-Old Toddler
Okay, I’m not 30. You know I am 31. But the former sounded better, so style won out over honesty.
And while I’ve probably had my fair share of toddler-like meltdowns, I didn’t act like one yesterday.
Instead, I felt like one.
I wish I could report that I played, napped, and watched garbage trucks on YouTube reliving my year as a two year old. Sadly, though, this wasn’t the case. I would have preferred Care Bears over garbage trucks.
Seriously, I simply had one of those days. You know the type I’m talking about, or I’ll assume you do. My Tuesday was one where I felt like I was operating in the dark, trying to make sense of my world. I attempted to ask questions or make connections to help clarify things. My communications failed miserably. In my head my words made perfect sense and I thought I was speaking in relatable terms, but it all came out of my mouth in an inarticulate jumble. Those trying to understand seemed frustrated or let down. And I ultimately felt the same, along with confused and defeated.
In summary, it was like a day at a law firm. A familiar feeling. One where I felt disappointed in myself for how things transpired, but also one where I felt confident that I could get back on track the next day. So, all in all, a blip I could repair.
Then, on my drive home when I continued to ruminate on what I could’ve done better in the situation, I surprisingly started crying. The light bulb went off. I (finally) registered understood this is how my toddler son probably feels on a daily basis. He’s struggling with his burgeoning independence and so are we. I can’t say we’ve been the most patient, level-headed parents the last few weeks, as most mundane tasks have resulted in waterworks. And it’s because he’s rightfully feeling confused and misunderstood…thankfully I finally saw the obvious.
I pulled into my driveway with empathy and openness for my little one.
This refresher lesson was needed and appreciated.
~ The Other Sarah
6 Comments
Reader Comments (6)
Sometimes we just need a good cry to let it out and clear our head to be able to think things through. I have cried more tears in my car as an adult and mother than I ever did as a kid. It really helps and everything seems to be in place after. Just let it out. ;)
Good words to live by, Jessa. Thanks for the support.
- TOS
I've been there. You spend all your energy being strong for your family that you just run out of strengh for yourself and feel because you're an adult and a mother you can't cry but have no other outlet. Sometimes crying IS the only way to let it out and it's more than fine to do so. I've been there too and after I just let it out (in the privacy of my car when no one is around) I all of a sudden understand what was frustrationg me so and I just feel more in control and just "get it". You're also right, it's probably the closest we can feel to how our little one feels when they are frustrated. Awesome post.
Thanks for understanding, Emily. At least there's always light (and clarity) at the end of the tunnel.
Oh man, I have been given grief my whole life for being a bit of a crier when I get really stressed about stuff (fortunately, this isn't that often). I can't seem to help it, and while I used to be embarrassed by it, now I just accept that that's how I deal. Some people yell and get grumpy and mean, some folks eat their way through whatever is bugging them, and others get drunk or high. I call my mother and cry it out, which isn't really the worst way to cope. I recently had a good cry and while the project stressing me out is still intense, I'm a lot calmer about it. All to say, it happens to a lot of us, not just toddlers :)
Oh Michelle, I cry ALL THE TIME. - SSH