
Over the last few weeks separation anxiety has come to the Holland household. Baby Amos, who only last month would run squealing into Mommy's Day Out or the church nursery, has now become clingy and weepy whenever I leave the room, much less drop him off somewhere.
Griffin went through a similar phase at his age and while I know it is only temporary, it doesn't make the tears or cries of "Momma!" any easier. I'm not a believer in sneaking out or leaving them in tears so I have a strategy that seems to work.
I teach my children one simple phrase, "Mommy always comes back."
Every time I've left Amos for the past few weeks I've gotten down on his level and explained a simple timeline. "Amos eat crackers. Amos play. Mommy comes back. Mommy always comes back."
Now, he can answer my prompt. "Mommy always comes..."
"Back!" he'll reply with a grin.
However, every time I go through this routine I feel a twinge of guilt. Between the experiences of my youth and the events of the past few months, I know deep down that that is not always true.
Yesterday's tragic event in Boston is yet another stark reminder that everything can change in an instant.
I want to teach my children they can depend on me and I know deep down I cannot raise them to be afraid. One lesson I've had to learn over and over is that "preparing" for tragic events doesn't make them any easier because tragedy is not something for which you can ever prepare.
Perhaps this is just the mental gymnastics of any parent. Teaching your children they can depend on you so they build the confidence to depend on themselves. Teaching them to look for the good in people, even if it can best be found in times of suffering.
Looking into pleading eyes and promising, "Mommy comes back. Mommy always comes back."
~ Sarah Stewart Holland